I am about to begin my 22nd year of home schooling. You’d think that after 21 years I’d have this thing figured out. You’d think that I knew exactly what works and what doesn’t work. Well, I can probably tell you a lot of things that don’t work but figuring out what does work is a little more difficult. I have tried everything. If I have not actually, physically tried everything, I have at least played everything out in my head anticipating the rewards and the pitfalls of any new organizing system that might arise.
What have I learned over the years? I am a great organizer. I can categorize, alphabetize, colorize, and generally organize anything. What I am not good at is keeping it organized. If I could organize something and just let it sit there, life would be good. The whole point of organizing is to make something easy to use. It’s that “using” part that I have trouble with. Once I use something, I’m not really good at putting it back into the organization system. Neither is anyone else in the family. That’s where chaos comes in.
You may be saying right now, “Diana, if you just used this wonderful home school planner…”. Or, “Diana, have you tried work boxes?” Or, “Diana, take a look at the way I organize my bookshelves.” I have seen it, done it and disorganized it many times over the years.
After my stint with work boxes fell flat on its face… Why did it fall on its face, you ask? After a few weeks, I would forget to fulfill my obligation of filling the boxes. …I began my 2 year “fly by the seat of my pants” odyssey. Yes, that’s what I’ve been doing the past couple of years. I have a plan. I always have a plan. But by October, that plan has been forgotten and we all start the “fly by the seat of mom’s pants” routine.
That’s the problem. When I don’t have a plan that works for all of us, then everything is dependent on me. The kids are willing to do the work but if they don’t have a clear, concise plan they don’t know what that work is. They must wait on me to say, “Now let’s do math” or “now let’s read…” You get the idea.
What does this do for the kids? It makes them less responsible for their education. If they have to depend on me to tell them what to do next they fail to own their education as their own. That’s not good. Especially as they get older they need to become more responsible for their own education.
How am I going to remedy this? I’m not sure yet. We are doing a more Charlotte Mason approach which is pretty Mom intensive. The actual time we have to spend on school work is limited due to all the outside activities we have obligated ourselves to do. I have an average of 3 hours a day to get everything done. It sounds like a lot but during those 3 hours we also have to clean house, cook meals and get ready for the aforementioned activities we are involved in. I’m getting a little stressed just thinking about it.
One thing I want to accomplish this year is creating an atmosphere where my boys (I’m just dealing with my 2 youngest ages 12 and 10 for the most part) can work more independently, confidently and constructively. I’m going to have to give up some of the control I have and become more of a facilitator. That is difficult for me because I have seen some of the pitfalls this creates with my 4 older boys. These younger boys are not as independent as my older ones were because I had to let them be more independent. I had a lot of little ones to tend to so they had to work on their own. With these two younger ones I don’t have the distractions of little ones so I have not given these boys the independence they need and deserve.
As I’m typing I think I am answering my own questions. I need to give up some control even if it means the boys will make mistakes. I need to learn how to teach them to work through their own scheduling issues. I need to teach them to prioritize and to focus on the task at hand. I need to teach them to make their own goals and encourage them to stick to it.
When I first started writing this I was thinking I would need to put math on the top of our priority list. While it still needs to be way up there, I think before it comes teaching my boys to be more independent.
What am I going to do about it? I don’t know. Let me think on it a while and I’ll get back with you.
