For the past 27 years, my husband and I have been in the process of raising 6 boys. We are “finished” with the older 3 and are still actively engaged in raising the last 3. Over the years, we have learned a lot about raising boys. Some of what we have learned has been through successes of our own and some from failures. Some of what we have learned has been through observation of other families’ successes and failures.
I thought I would share a few of the things we have tried to teach our boys over the years. If I am brave enough, after finishing a few of these, I may share a few of the things we failed to teach our boys. Here is the first of “Things We Tried To Teach Our Boys”:
Don’t Sit On The Arm Of A Chair!
The very design of a couch or chair suggests which part is designed for sitting. If someone (especially a full sized someone) chooses to sit on the arm of a chair or couch, it puts pressure where pressure was not intended. That pressure will eventually cause the arm to loosen and eventually the piece of furniture is useless.
While this fact seems to be common sense to me, other people seem to disagree. We have not always been able to afford the best furniture and replacing furniture that has been misused is not in our budget. We have noted that other families must either have bought furniture that could take more abuse than what we have or have planned to replace furniture on a fairly regular basis because the arms of their chairs and couches are regularly used as seats.
In discussing this with friends I have heard the comment that they want their children to enjoy their home and don’t want them to have to be careful with the furniture. While this sounds nice and may work in your own home, when those children who have not been taught the proper way to sit on furniture visit in other people’s homes, they use the furniture the same way they use the furniture at home.
It’s all about manners and respecting other people’s things. Children must be taught at home how to respect other people’s things by teaching them to take care of their own things and those that belong to their family. Then they will understand how to behave when in public or when visiting friends.
We have taught our boys from a very early age (before they were big enough to do much harm) that they were never to sit on the arm of a chair or couch. This does 2 things. It saves us money by not having to replace furniture and it teaches our children respect for other people’s things. Our hope is that when our boys go to other people’s homes, they will abide by the same rules as they do at our house and not sit on the arm of a chair or couch that does not belong to them.
I completely agree,
When I was a child we were taught to sit properly on the furniture and to look after what we had as we couldn’t replace things that easily. And my husband and I have taught our 5 children the same manners.
I am just wondering what you do to stop other people from miss using your furniture? Because I am hoping there is somethin I can do that I haven’t thought about as I am so tired of telling people to please not sit on the backs or arms of my couch.
It is wrecking our furniture and its not even caused by us.
So would love to hear if you have any ideas.
I even had a sign up for a short time and even that didn’t work very well.
Hi Emily, I don’t know the answer. It’s awkward to have to police adults in your own home. Diana
My grandfather was an upholsterer for 40 years. In addition to the furniture he made at work, he also made all our sofas and chairs. When I was quite young, he took me to his shop and showed me how the frames of these items were constructed. One thing that I will never forget is when he showed me why you should never sit on the arms of a sofa or chair. There frames are not designed to hold that much weight where only an arm should rest. Common sense should tell us that you sit on the seat cushions and rest your arms on the arm rest. I am now a grandfather myself, and I still cringe when anyone carelessly sits on the arms; especially an adult who should know better.
Things We Tried To Teach Our Boys
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I so totally agree with this concept. This was my idea when rearing my daughter and with all the daycare children who have come through my home. It’s amazing how few parents seem to agree. But, to me, the difference in children who have been reared this way and those who have not is undeniable. I’ve always thought maybe it was just too hard for some kids (you know, the overly active ones) but if you accomplished it with your 6 boys (surely out of 6 at least 1 or 2 were overly active!) I believe that thought must be dead wrong! Keep posting…both success and failure. I benefit so much from your words.