Don’t Be That Mom

Being a mom is hard work. At times it seems the days never end. There is always someone wanting something to eat. There is always something that needs cleaning. There is always someone needing a hug and someone needing a swat. It reminds of the Loretta Lynn song:

“Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzing
The dog is a-barking and the floor needs a scrubbing
One needs a spanking and one needs a hugging
And, one’s on the way.”

We all face the same problems. Raising kids is messy business. Those sweet little bundles of preciousness can erupt into disgusting sights and smells in an instant. Those “oh, so squeezable” cheeks can be covered in an awful mess of oatmeal and cheerios. The house is a never ending mess with those darling clothes that looked so cute in the children’s shop now strewn over the floor. The toys that promised to turn my child into a genius are scattered here and there. There’s never enough time or energy to get it all done.

We all face the same problems but some of us handle it differently than others. I’ve been a mom for 28 years. I still have young ones at home. I’ve been there. I’ve had my successes but sometimes, I’ve been “that mom”. In our struggle to be the best mom for our kids and our struggle to give our children the best experiences and memories possible sometimes we are “that mom”.

None of us are “that mom” in all these situations but I’ve been her on occasion and I’ve seen her in others. So allow me to vent. Maybe in the process you will smile knowing that you’ve seen her as well. Maybe you’ll see yourself…

There’s the mom who thinks everyone thinks her child is as adorable as she does. I’ve seen her at the restaurant. The 2 year old who peeks his head over the back of the booth making faces at the people at the next table. These polite people will smile and maybe carry on a brief conversation with the precocious child. A mom who is wise will allow the exchange to go on briefly but quickly instruct the child to turn around and sit down. There is always that mom who thinks the people in the other booth want nothing more than to spend their evening out entertaining her child, never putting a stop to the interruption in their conversation her child has caused. Don’t be that mom.

There’s the mom who who sees no problem with her children bouncing on other people’s furniture.  At home, they stand in the recliner or crawl over the back of the couch or jump on the bed.  Well, guess what! They do the same thing when they are at other people’s homes.  Mom is so used to the bouncy, climbing cherubs that she doesn’t even notice the looks of anxiety on Grandma’s face as they do the same to her furniture.  Or even worse, as they do the same to a friend’s furniture.  The kids don’t know any better.  They’re just doing what they do at home.  Mom has grown so accustomed to the behavior, she doesn’t even think that someone may wish her children would stop jumping on their bed.  Don’t be that mom.

There’s the mom who engages in playful banter with her children that sometimes escalates to disrespectful comebacks from her innocent darlings.  Some moms think it’s cute to see her chubby little 4 year old coming back with smarty remarks she’s heard adults say.   It’s not so cute when the child says those remarks to Grandma or her teacher at school or another person in authority.  Sometimes “that mom” will hear it and attempt to correct the problem but usually she doesn’t hear it and never knows the disrespect her darling bundle of joy has shown someone who should be respected.  Don’t be that mom.

There’s the mom who is sure that everyone loves to tend to her children.  This is usually heightened when there are several, even many, children.  I know, I have 6.  It happens in public places like a playground, restaurant, department store, etc.  It happens in private homes.  Mom shows up with several children and she’s distracted by the shopping or visiting.  She’s unaware of her preciousnesses running amok.  While mom is deep in thought about whether to buy the red skirt or the blue one, her children are involved in a game of hide and seek amongst the clothes racks totally unaware of the little old lady that was almost knocked down.  While mom is talking with her friend about the difference in home made or store bought detergent, her children are bouncing off her friend’s walls coming dangerously close to breaking the prized souvenir from her trip to Europe not to mention coming dangerously close to breaking his own leg.  Don’t be that mom.

Like I said at the beginning, we’ve all been there.  We all know that mom needs time to herself and sometimes gets distracted.  We all know how hard it is to be consistent 100% of the time.  We all know that sometimes the rules are relaxed at home just because it’s easier.  But don’t be the mom that fails to teach her children proper manner and respect at home.  The behavior that you tolerate at home and even appears to be minor infractions of rules of etiquette become magnified when the same behavior is done in public.  Don’t be the mom who turns a blind eye to her child’s behavior in public.  Be on your guard.  Always keep the children in sight.  Be there to stop a bad behavior before it becomes dangerous or disrespectful.  Don’t be the mom who leaves her children’s training to whoever happens to be there at the moment.

The mom who diligently teaches her children to show respect to her and to the family’s things will be rewarded with children who show respect to others and to their things when mom isn’t looking.