“Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands.” Titus 2:3-5
Those of us who are God fearing women know this scripture well. Paul is telling Titus things he needs to teach those he comes in contact with. He tells Titus what to teach the older men, the other younger men but instead of directly talking to the younger women, he tells Titus that he must teach the older women to teach the younger women.
While volumes can and have been written about each of the things the older women are to teach the younger women, the specific things listed in this passage are not what I want to talk about right now. There has been much said about the younger women needing to seek out the counsel of older women. But that’s not what I want to talk about right now.
I want to remind those of us who find ourselves older that we need to give the younger women something worth listening to. Younger women are smart. They know when they are talking to an older woman who is filled with wisdom. They know when they are talking to an older woman who is filled with old wives’ tales and foolish talk. Those of us who have found ourselves in the “older woman” group and have not been preparing ourselves for the job God has given us will find that we have nothing worth listening to.
I don’t think God expects the older women to keep up with all the latest fads of child-rearing but He does expect us to help the younger women be better moms. I’ve learned a lot from women who had not read a child-rearing book in years, if ever. They have offered me wonderful insight into raising my children. She gets these jewels of wisdom from experience and from studying God’s Word. It doesn’t hurt to be aware of the latest fads. Being aware and learning the lingo involved in what the “experts” are pushing these days can help us talk to the young moms, but if a younger woman is seeking the wisdom of an older woman, she won’t mind if the older woman has not read the latest books.
I don’t think God expects us to be up on what the experts say about what makes a happy marriage but it doesn’t hurt to understand what the younger women may have been reading or listening to. It may give some insight into the way she’s thinking. We need to be culturally aware and informed about what the experts say so we can defend God’s word when it is contradicted by our culture.
What God expects is that the older women have a full and complete understanding of His Word. He wants us to have spent much time reading, studying, discussing and meditating on His word. He wants us to share with the younger women what we have learned during our years of reading, studying, discussing and meditating on His word. He wants us to be knowledgeable enough that if a younger woman asks us a question, we can answer it. If a younger woman behaves in a way that does not glorify God, we can tactfully and lovingly teach her God’s way more fully.
It’s not enough to prepare ourselves with knowledge but we must make ourselves available to the younger women. We need to develop talents that will cross generational barriers and be willing to share them. We need to surround ourselves with women of all ages so we can learn from the older ones and share with the younger ones. As we pass from one stage of life to the next, we can’t forget about the stages we’ve left. We can’t forget what it’s like to be a newlywed who is learning to love and be in subjection to her husband. We can’t forget what it’s like to be a young mom who struggles keeping up with the day to day chores. We can’t forget what it’s like to have our children begin to leave the nest. We need to remember and be sympathetic towards the younger women while giving them something to aspire to.
We must fill our minds with worthwhile things so that when we teach others, we can give them something worth listening to. We must prepare ourselves so that we can fulfill this important role and ultimately honor God.
A wise woman told me that as a woman, we are always older than someone in the congregation. So we can always teach others through example. I struggle finding time to get together with other women to glean their wisdom. However, we have started a Ladies Day social event to encourage one another. It’s hard to meet every month, but we try to meet at least every other month. It’s been very edifying and I hope to continue this as a way to make friends and learn and love one another.