Things My Mother Taught Me

Mothers are awesome. God knew just what a blessing mothers would be to us. He knew just how much we would need our mother. My mother taught me many things when I was young but there are a few things that keep coming back to mind and I find myself repeating her words to my own children. As I get older, I realize that what mother was teaching me, whether she knew it or not, had a much deeper meaning. I’d like to share some of these truths from my mother with you.

Don’t Try To Change Your Husband: Mom was four years older than Dad. When they married, he had just turned 18. She confessed to me that she thought, since she was so much older than he was, that she could just change him after they got married. She quickly found that Dad would have none of that. Mom would tell me this story occasionally not realizing what an impact it would have on my marriage. When Danny and I were talking about marriage, I thought about what Mom had said. I knew that I needed to be willing to accept the good with the bad and not expect him to change just because I wanted him to. Now, 33 years later, I realize that Mom wasn’t just teaching me about my marriage but about respect. Respect for others and accepting others for who they are. I don’t have to like every quirky habit about someone to respect them. I don’t have to agree with everything they say to respect them. Thank you Mom for teaching me to respect others.

You Can Always Wash Your Hands: Every Saturday morning was chore time at our house. Mom really didn’t ask us to do much around the house but on Saturday mornings, that’s what we did. There were four of us. My brother usually was expected to take care of the outside of the house. The three girls divided the house into three areas — kitchen, living room, bathroom. For some reason, probably because I was the youngest of the three, I was stuck cleaning the bathroom. As I would moan and complain about having to scrub the toilet, Mom always said the same thing, “You can always wash your hands.” In other words, stop complaining and get busy and don’t forget to wash your hands. That simple comment Mom made got me through cleaning not only the bathroom back then but many other messes of all kinds through the years. Mom wasn’t just teaching me about cleaning the bathroom. The true lesson she taught me was much broader. Thank you Mom for teaching me to not be afraid of jobs that are hard, unpleasant and messy No matter what the task, I can always wash my hands.

If You Smell It, Change It: There were always children around our house when I was growing up. Mom loved children and passed that love on to me. In fact, Mom and Dad owned a small daycare center when I was in Junior High (That’s Middle School for those of you born after 1980). It was at this daycare that this great truth was taught. Every afternoon, after school, I got to go to the daycare (Angel Haven was its name) and play with the babies. It was not acceptable to know a child had soiled his diaper and pass off the job of changing it to someone else. Mom would say, “If you smell it, change it.” It would be tempting and was often tried to just ignore the problem and hope someone else would find it. In the end, I realized that since I had discovered the problem, it was mine to make right. While I thought it was all about dirty diapers back then, I now realize that the real lesson was not about diapers at all. The real lesson was that I needed to take care of my own responsibilities. No matter what unpleasant task is at hand, passing it off to someone else is not the way to handle it. An added perk is that, usually when we take responsibility for the unpleasant tasks in our lives we are rewarded in one way or another. In the case of the dirty diaper, the cleaning up of the mess always resulted in smiles and cuddles from the precious baby involved. Thank you Mom for teaching me to take responsibility for the problems that come my way.

It’s Okay To Hide A Favorite Treat From Your Kids: Mom had a secret. She was into health food before being into health food was cool. We never had sugary drinks, cereals, or other empty calorie convenience foods at our house. She made her own yogurt and there was frequently grassy looking bean sprouts growing on the counter. She did her best to eat right and help us to do the same but Mom had a secret. She had a favorite candy bar — Mr Goodbar. I discovered her secret one day while riding in the passenger seat of the car. I reached into the glove compartment and saw it — a Mr Goodbar. My mom’s secret was to occasionally enjoy her favorite candy bar — alone. It took me by surprise and she offered no excuse. At first I thought less of her. Why had she hidden that candy bar? Now, after having six boys of my own, I understand. She was doing something for herself. Being a mom is exhausting. From the moment a mom wakes up until she goes to bed and sometimes even in her sleep, she is thinking about her children, doing what is best for her children. Taking a little time off for herself is very important. My mom chose to do this by enjoying a Mr Goodbar by herself. Thank you Mom for teaching me to take time for myself.

We Have All The Time In The World: This phrase was saved for one time and one time only — when I was driving and attempting a left turn. Having helped four boys learn to drive, I know this was mostly a survival technique. She was terrified that I would make a rash decision and dart out into traffic just because I was in a hurry so she would calmly say, “We have all the time in the world.” She would encourage me to wait before making that left turn until I felt comfortable. She didn’t want me to be be stressed by the line of cars piling up behind me. She wanted me to wait until all was clear. When I am faced with a left turn into fast moving traffic on a busy street, those words always come to mind. Now that I have my own children, I realize she meant much more than what she said in the moment. Her words come back to me at times other than making a left turn. She was teaching me and I learned that it is always important to be safe. Don’t let peer pressure or pressure from those not my peers tempt me to do anything that I feel uncomfortable doing. Thank you Mom for teaching me to take my time and to do what I know is right.

Like I said before, moms are awesome. Mine died nearly 3 years ago and at least during my lifetime the words of the Hebrew writer about Abel is true of my mom, she “being dead still speaks.” Hebrews 11:4

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