Second Guessing Myself

It was a moment of weakness. Scrolling through my Facebook feed, I came across a well meant comment. Another home school mom hoping to do the best for her children shared her latest find. Immediately the doubts began to rise. Was what she was going to use with her children better than what I was going to use? Would my children be forever handicapped as they enter the business world if I didn’t change my plan? Yes, it is expensive, but what is more important than my children’s education? Yes, the doubts began to rise.

I know that many, if not all, home school moms go through this same thing — second guessing our choices, our abilities, even the fact that we are home schooling. These doubts are real and can be a real hindrance to our morale and our contentment.

We are about to begin our 24th year of home schooling. You would think I would have it all together by now. That I would know what we’re doing and how we’re going to do it. For the most part that’s true but there is always that new curriculum that promises to turn my children into geniuses. There is always that enthusiastic mom who wants to share her newest find. There is always that family whose children are so smart and so successful. Maybe if I just changed what we were doing, we could be like them.

For a few minutes this morning, I followed the rabbit trail begun in that Facebook post to a curriculum I had already heard about from friends I trusted. They loved it! They have encouraged me to use it. I have looked but passed because what I was already doing was working fine, but this morning, doubts began to rise. Maybe what we have been using hasn’t been good enough. Maybe these last two boys at home would be even more successful if they had the advantage of using this other curriculum. I almost bought into the idea that we needed to buy something new.

Just before clicking that Buy Now button, common sense returned. I have educated 4 boys. Three are college graduates, one is a college student. They all used basically the same curriculum. Without the use of the pricey curriculum I was researching this morning, they all (except for the college student) are successfully supporting their families. Why did I feel the need to change? The curriculum we have used for years was the brand new, must have curriculum at the time. It is not flashy. It was not expensive. It is just solid teaching. I refrained from clicking that button, thankful that I don’t have to spend more money this year.

What’s to be learned from this? Just because a curriculum is new does not make it better. Just because a curriculum is expensive does not make it better. Just because a curriculum is flashy with all the latest media advantages does not make it better. It works in reverse as well. The older curriculum is not better just because it is old or because it is less flashy. What makes the older curriculum better is that I already own it. It has been tried and proven worthy with my older boys. I’m reminded of the old saying — If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

I’m sharing this little moment of second guessing myself to hopefully encourage others to think before you change what’s already working. Be confident that what you are doing is going to be just fine as long as you consistently work through it. The desire to follow the crowd can be expensive and cause unnecessary stress. Before you click that Buy Now button, ask yourself if this is really a necessary purchase or is it just going to be another purchase made because of doubt.

You may be wondering which two curricula I was comparing this morning. These both cover my weakest subject and yet, it is the most important one for just about any career my children might enter. I have always felt inadequate to teach this subject which is why I was drawn to the original choice to begin with. It was written to the student and put the student in charge of learning this subject. Writing. That’s my weakest. I love teaching math — there is a right way and wrong way to do things. I love teaching history — it’s fascinating to read all about the past. I love teaching literature, spelling, grammar, music, and even have learned to enjoy science and art but writing is so subjective that I find it difficult to teach. The new curriculum that I almost bought today was IEW. Like I said, if I was just starting out, I might go with this one so don’t get the idea I’m saying it’s a bad choice. The old one that I’ve used successfully for years is Writing Strands. I love the concept, the price and the fact that I have all these books on my shelf already.

One thing I’ve learned through the years is that it’s not the newest or the fanciest or the most expensive that is going to help our children. They can learn with a few good living books, a pencil and some paper. What they need the most is consistency. Making a solid plan and sticking to it will produce slow and steady progress as well as confidence in our children. So go dust off those books you already have before looking to buy something new. Spend the money you’ve saved on a cool field trip or supplies for a new hobby.