I wrote this last February as a note on Facebook while this blog was down.
I don’t know when this rule actually got started. It was probably when Matthew was 12. We were probably letting him eat a snack or a meal in the living room but not letting his little brothers do the same. James, the next one in line, would have been 8 so you can understand why we insisted he eat at the table. I imagine the little brothers asked to eat in the living room like Matthew. I probably said, “When you’re 12 like Matthew, you can eat in the living room.” The rule stuck and has become a sort of right of passage in our home.
Today, the last Dow turned 12. It’s been kind of funny and a little sad at times. For the past two years, ever since Jonathan turned 12, whenever we had a more casual meal or snack that we enjoyed in the living room, Benjamin had to eat it at the dining room table. Before you go saying I was unfair, you have to understand that the table is probably 6 feet from the couch. It’s not like he was alone in a room while everyone else was having fun in another room.
Why would we stick to this rule for the youngest? Two reasons: 1) the table is on a hard, easy to clean floor while the couch is on carpet and 2) it just didn’t seem fair to Jonathan to bend the rule just because Benjamin was eating alone. What surprised me was that on those days that Benjamin looked kind of pitiful by himself, his daddy would say he could join us in the living room. He declined and said he would wait until he was 12. I guess that goes along with that age boy having a desire for things to be fair and to follow the rules.
There have been other important years in the boys’ lives. Having 6 boys with a 3 bedroom house means we have always had to have bunk beds in their rooms. We had a rule that they couldn’t sleep in the bunk bed until they were 5. Another had to do with skate boards. I never was a fan of skate boards. They would all start asking for a skate board when they were about 5 or 6. I tried my best to stall them and hope they would forget and find another interest by telling them they could have one when they were 10. It worked for a while but eventually we became the owners of a couple of skate boards.
The next big year for Benjamin is when he turns 13. That’s the year he will get to have a blog. It has to be a blog that I’m on so I can supervise his activity. At first it was a big deal for the boys to get an account on Pleonast. Now it’s Facebook. We’ll see if that’s still the popular blogging format next year.
Does your family have any “right of passage” birthdays?
Here are the comments on that post. I enjoyed reading others’ traditions.
Karolyn Jones That is so sweet………………
Martha Ladyman Don’t know if this counts or not, but you don’t get a cell phone until you reach high school (because you don’t need it before then, but you will with after-school activities when you are in high school). No Facebook or social media until you are 1…See More
James Dow Skateboard? I never heard of that rule. How come I never got one? And I’ve never seen one in yalls house either.
Diana Brock Dow You know how it is, James. The younger ones have much older and tired parents that just give in and give them whatever they want. smile emoticon
Tim Beamon Love these shared memories
Michelle Reynolds Having a big family, we decided we did not want every year a big party (because of cost but also because we like these days to be a special family event) BUT our children were always invited to other parties. So, we came up with the special birthdays …See More
Daniel Dow I know what James is getting for his next birthday! He can skateboard to IBM.
Matt Dow Yeah, Pretty sure the skateboard was completely banned when I was at home. You guys have gotten soft.
Diana Brock Dow Danny, I think we should get one for Matthew this year too.
Daniel Dow I agree – They’re both being kind of whinny aren’t they. smile emoticon
Kelly Havard Eric won’t let anyone have a skateboard ever!
Cheryl Sanford Black Love all these comments and rites of passage. Having only one child we always just sort of went with the flow but our daughter was a master at coming up with “traditions”. But then my husband always says….we do something once and in her eyes it becomes a tradition. And at 30 she continues…she and her husband have traditional things they do at each first day of a season among other things. Wish I had been more attuned to that sort of thing when I first got married. smile emoticon
